Only Yesterday

It was only yesterday that these two wonderful little boys trudged off to explore. And now they are going further faster. My two little boys both got their learners permits last week. They can drive.

It's exciting and horrifying all at once. They are growing up. They are learning and doing new things. They are getting all the tools and abilities they need to fly off on their own. And it was only yesterday that they were so small.

Adventures long ago

I am scanning my old photos and last week I scanned this batch.
High School was so much fun.

See more progress on: have more adventures

What is romance?

Romance, like coaching football is not about your greatest victory, it’s about your latest victory. I always fancied myself as a true romantic, not so. Were romance a fixed target with certain deeds and acts that are considered romantic, I would be IT. But I have learned over the years that romance is a moving target. What proved very romantic yesterday might be childish and irritating today. Some women love candles others love a guy that can make the lions roar. My wife hates both. Over the years I have learned what is romantic to her, sometimes.

It’s romantic when I sit with her to watch the latest Jane Austin movie, for the 10th time. Right now that movie is the remake of Pride and Prejudice. Before that it was Mansfield Park, before that it was Emma, before that it was the A&E version of Emma, before that it was the modern version of Pride and Prejudice made by some guys in Salt Lake, before that it was Kate and Leopold, before that is was A Walk to Remember and before them all it was While You Were Sleeping. Okay the last ones are not Jane Austin movies but the point is I sit and watch with her the chic flick of the month. Sometimes I even trick her into watching a new chic flick. She had no desire to see the Note Book but I recorded it on the DVR and started watching it. She was hooked and balling by the end. That was romantic.

It’s romantic when I play with the kids. She loves it when I wrestle with the little one on the living room floor. The little ones are not so little anymore and while it is romantic for her, it’s down right dangerous for me.

It’s romantic when I make her laugh, especially when we are laying in bed right before falling asleep and I start making jokes and before long she is laughing so hard that we have woken the kids up. Then we all go down and have chocolate milk and try to go to bed again.

It’s romantic when I buy dinner. It’s really romantic when I buy dinner after she has told me not to. And it is really romantic if halfway through making dinner, I tell her it’s just for the kids and that we are going out to dinner.

It’s romantic when we can get through a family dinner without talking about poop.

It’s romantic that I always find her when I get home from work and before doing anything else I give her a big hug and kiss.

It’s romantic when I rub her shoulders with absolutely no expectation of anything in return. (She somehow can tell the difference)

It’s romantic in it’s own sick way the show the security cameras at Wall-Mart get when we are shopping. She actually feels bad if I don’t try when we are shopping.

As is always the case, some things I do turn out to be romantic and I had no idea they were. Sometimes sleeping in on a workday, like today, is romantic to her. Coming home from work early for no reason.
Once, I was really mad at her for making me do the right thing so to get over it, I made a list of the 100 things I love about my wife. On Valentines day, lacking anything of real substance to give to her, other than chocolate, I always give her chocolate, that’s a requirement, not an attempt to be romantic, I gave her that list. She never says much about it but she keeps it and looks at it quite regularly. I told her it was stupid and that I was going to throw it away and she got very defensive and told me it was hers and that I could not touch it.

My greatest romantic moments? I couldn’t tell you. 17 years and five kids later, I know we have had some great romantic times but mostly it’s been a lot of laughter, some tears and a whole lot of us against them.

See more progress on: When the music plays, dance.

Texas is calling

My lovely wife tells me she can hear Texas calling. Wife says it’s time for a new adventure. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a new adventure, why adventure is my middle name. But usually the call to leave comes to me, not to her and I am not quite sure what to make of it. Especially since I really want Colorado to call.

Wait, I think I hear something and it has a funny accent. Wonder who it is.

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It was twenty years ago today...

Sergeant Pepper didn’t tell his band to play... No, Twenty years ago today, I arrived home from Chile, my missionary service ended. Like a dream it had come and gone in the slowest yet fastest way imaginable. Now, not only have two years passed but twenty.

What can I say about my time in Chile? I am reminded of one of my favorite books, the beginning of which has now become cliché, a tale of two cities. My time in Chile was indeed, the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, (I) had everything before (me), (I) had nothing before (me), (I was) going direct to Heaven, (I was) going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, …
I loved my time in Chile and am so glad I went. I learned so much, grew so much, changed so much and yet I am sad about my time in Chile. I missed learning so much. I missed growing as much as I could have. I really missed the best of everything. I thought I was so old. I was too young. I thought I knew so much. I knew nothing. In my mind, the times and memories I have of Chile are wonderful. The passing now of twenty years has made me proud of my time and service in Chile.
My parents saved my letters home. I have saved those letters along with my journal and other letters now for twenty years with the goal in mind of writing a Wilford Woodruff-like history of my mission. It’s not going to happen. I keep the letters and read them to my children not to inspire them but more as a cautionary tale; If you are not careful, you too could be this stupid. I am ashamed of what I wrote, ashamed of what I did, said I did, thought about life and love. The person in those letters is not the person I remember. I remember a person who tried hard, who loved the people of Chile and did his best to bring souls to Christ while he was there.
Socrates said: The unexamined life is not worth living. The over-examined life is not worth living either. I choose to remember my time in Chile the way Sydney Carton remembers his life to his friends:
"I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy, in that England which I shall see no more. I see Her with a child upon her bosom, who bears my name. I see her father, aged and bent, but otherwise restored, and faithful to all men in his healing office, and at peace. I see the good old man, so long their friend, in ten years' time enriching them with all he has, and passing tranquilly to his reward.

"I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. I see her, an old woman, weeping for me on the anniversary of this day. I see her and her husband, their course done, lying side by side in their last earthly bed, and I know that each was not more honoured and held sacred in the other's soul, than I was in the souls of both.

"I see that child who lay upon her bosom and who bore my name, a man winning his way up in that path of life which once was mine. I see him winning it so well, that my name is made illustrious there by the light of his. I see the blots I threw upon it, faded away. I see him, foremost of just judges and honoured men, bringing a boy of my name, with a forehead that I know and golden hair, to this place- then fair to look upon, with not a trace of this day's disfigurement- and I hear him tell the child my story, with a tender and a faltering voice.

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."
No, I didn’t have my head cut off or give my life for the people of Chile, I did give my head, heart, love and life for a time with the hope that such service would bring them to a better place, twenty years ago today.

Comments on picture: That is me the night of my arrival home in my bedroom. Notice the tan line on my neck.

Things you never forget

A series of events have reminded me there are things in life you never forget. Things like where you were when Challenger or Columbia blew-up, or September 11th, 2001. And also life time firsts. I forget the details about almost everything I watch on TV or hear in meetings but I remember like it was only minutes ago so many of my lifetime firsts.

First kiss December 1981, Sherylyn Jaquier, On her front porch. It was a short, tight lipped peck.
First date June, 1981, Lisa Garetner, 9th grade graduation. My parents allowed me to go on that one date before I was 16.
First true love June, 1984, Cheryl Woodruff. I had known Cheryl all through high school but didn't manage to "hook-up" with her until an all night party for graduation. It was an all-consuming love. Even today the strength of those emotions is strong. I had never felt so deeply before. It changed my life.

Cheryl is why I am thinking today about my famous firsts. Through some bizarre cosmic twist of fate, Cheryl's husband happened upon this blog. He emailed me asking if I was perchance the same fellow that dated his wife before they were married. After a few email exchanges we established that fact that indeed, I was.
It is nice to know that her life has turned out well, that she has a wonderful family and good husband.

I love technology, almost as much as Kip does. Through the miracle of the internet I have been able to know how the lives of people from my past have turned out. Now if I only knew what happened to Sherylyn Jaquier and Lisa Garetener. Most likely they pine for me daily. *wink*

My Bike

Today I get my bicycle out of the shop. It had a few things wrong with it that were beyond my ability to properly repair. I am pretty excited as now I will be able to get out and ride the trails.

I am also excited about this because I hope to ride my bicycle to work and save some gas while also getting in shape.

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Postcrossing

Postcrossing has and is a lot of fun. I have sent out about 20 cards and received back at least that many. I am amazed at the neat things there are to see and do all over the world. So little time and money. I am also amazed at the number of people who speak English so well all over the world.

This is truly a fun and worthwhile hobby.

See more progress on: Participate in PostCrossing

Travels

Not too many posts from me lately. I have been traveling a lot for work. Normally I don't leave my cubicle but over the last few weeks I have been driving all over. I decided to map it. Map it? Yes, that's what I do, I map. It all began with a trip to Yankton for a meeting. Sue came along and we swung by Sioux Falls to stop at Sam's to get supplies. That Saturday I took a group of youths to the Temple in Bismarck. That's always fun but it makes for a long day.
Sunday I left for Kansas City. Richard, Amy and Thomas went along. While there we ate at Panera, Bryant's BBQ, The Ameristar, Papa John's, In a Tub, and Red Robin, all the places we can't eat at in Pierre because they aren't in Pierre. It was yummy!!!
The next week, I went to a two-day conference in Rapid City.

First week of June I am headed back to Sioux Falls and then out to Salt Lake City. Thank goodness I have satellite radio.